The Breakfast Club--Preview (Opening?)

I think I'm going to write this in two parts. The first we will call "Reality". The second I'll call "My Reality". I think it will make sense in the end.

REALITY

The show went great tonight!! Everyone was there and ready with plenty of time too spare. We got into costumes, checked the props, did some warm ups together and some group focusing. It started great and even with a couple of hiccups throughout the show, the audience was wonderful and really responded well. We got nothing but positive feedback from any who offered. But the laughter was abundant. And there was even a couple of ovations DURING the show on some of the great moments! It was really fun! I think the cast has a general sense of relief now that it has come to pass.

7 days is going to feel like an eternity until we meet up again. We are scheduled for a brush-up rehearsal next Monday afternoon then the show that night. This performance schedule is nothing like anything I've ever been involved with. That should be worth the price of admission right there!!!

MY REALITY

I wasn't on tonight. The rest of the cast was great, from my perspective. I'm sure they have their moments during the show where they might be questioning a choice or kicking themselves for a flub. But, as I've shown in my previous entries, I hold myself to a standard that I don't think I obtained tonight. My energy was there. That wasn't an issue at all. In fact, it might have been TOO there. I think most people can relate to those moments in your life when you feel like your just a step out of sync. Like when you are driving thru an intersection and then a block later ask yourself "Was that light red or green? Did I run a red light?" You're 99% sure you did the right thing but there is that 1% where you question.

It sounds trite or acting "mumbo jumbo" but I felt like my mind and body were going at different speeds. And those speeds varied through out the night. The scene I most stressed about throughout this whole rehearsal process went smoothly (which I realized I sabotaged myself by establishing early on that that was going to be the problematic scene! Nothing like setting those barriers in the beginning!). In fact, all my scenes, save one minor stumble in the beginning, went very well, line-wise. But I was mired in a lack of connectivity. I couldn't bridge the gap.

I don't know if I'm making sense. Obviously, I'm over analyzing. My dear friend Genevieve (dear, as in I hold her in high regard even though we haven't seen each other in nearly 14 years) made the observation that maybe artists live drama-filled lives so the rational side of their brain is quashed just enough to let the artistic side flourish. This comment came after the drama I had in my personal life last Thursday seemed to bring out one of my best performances later that evening. Again, I'm not going to insist one of my children go to the hospital every Monday so I can perform that night, but I do think I will be keeping my upbeat attitude a little more in check a couple of hours before the show.

Also-and I hope my fellow cast mates aren't offended by this-I think I'm going to re-evaluate my preshow warm ups. I think it is great that the cast does stuff to click in with each other but I think it might be more beneficial to me to separate myself a little before the show. I think there needs to be a little element of me vs. them in Vernon. And I don't think "clicking in" with the rest of the cast is helping. Don't get me wrong...I love this cast! These are some of the most professional, yet fun-loving actors I've been around in a long, long time (not including, of course, the Staged Reading crew. Those kids are in a league of their own!) and I am so looking forward to the journey we get to go on over the next few months. But for the betterment of the show (and my post-show sanity) I will probably pull away a little more. I'm cool with vocal and physical warmups but other than that...

So that is where I am tonight. I'm not really beating myself up as much as I'm realizing the job of developing these characters isn't over. Which makes me a little nervous that I'm on my own for the next 7 days.

I have little doubt next Monday will be fantastic! And I have little doubt that the goofs I had tonight were fairly indistinguishable to the audience. But acting in live theatre is never static. It is constantly in flux. And as any good actor will tell you, Characters are the same.